


Dazzled

by DumbWoojae



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: M/M, painter au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 06:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumbWoojae/pseuds/DumbWoojae
Summary: In which Hongjoong feels like he's lost all of his inspiration to paint, there's nothing beautiful enough to make the spark light inside his heart. That until he lands his eyes on Seonghwa and his unexpected, simple yet overwhelming beauty.





	Dazzled

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/kqhwafellaz/status/1085333885788057600) tweet, of course with the owner's permission I took the idea and bought it to life. (((or tried my best to)))
> 
> As I ALWAYS say english is not my first language so please let me know if you see any mistake so I can correct it, I hope you enjoy this work!

It’s frustrating to be called a genius, the expectations of the people surrounding him sometimes crushing his bones with the weight of thousands of tons, as if he’s fallen in the sea of their words and he’s drowning, the weight of the water above him pressing his body, smashing the air out of him even though he holds his breath and keeps his mouth shut not to swallow any of the fluid.

 

It’s always been hard, and he’s always worked to his limits so he’s able to please the people around him more than to please himself, pouring his feelings and all passion in the canvas until there’s nothing else to give, until he feels empty enough that he’s satisfied with his work. It usually takes him a short time to regain the emotion, finding the beauty in the smallest things and feeling eager to let others see what they seem to be blind to.

 

 _“He’s a genius”_ his teachers always said, _“He has such a big mind when it comes to painting, the way he mixes the color, he can make look neat what others would perceive as a mess”_

 

Crushing.

 

Being a genius was crushing.

 

But being a genius made his parents proud, being a genius kept his scholarship, being a genius helped him get recognition, so he gave and gave, and pushed himself to pour all of him over the canvas never thinking that maybe he’d run out of feeling, out of passion, leaving him an empty shell, unable to paint anything no matter how hard he tried. There’s no beauty that can ignite the flame of his inspiration, he feels like he’s looked everywhere, under every rock, behind every shelf, between every pair of arms, but nothing ever comes to him, no unstoppable desire to grab his pencils and smash color against the nearest canvas until he’s satisfied with the piece, just nothing.

 

“Maybe you should take a break” Yunho had said just the afternoon before, “we still have a few more days before college starts again, maybe you just need to rest, put your oil paintings and your canvases back into your studio and just relax for a bit”

 

 _‘It’s a lot easier said than done_ ’ Hongjoong thought as he made his way into the warmth of the nearest coffee shop, it’s almost unpleasant given that summer has taken a little bit more to leave than usual, making the air humid even when it’s windy.

 

He sits on a table at the back even though the place is all but empty, staring through the walls of glass that divide the shop from the rest of the world, the leaves of the trees have started to die already, welcoming the autumn, and all Hongjoong can think of is _‘paint, paint, paint, I need to paint, maybe if I go to the park and start with some basic sketches of the trees I’ll be able to paint.”_

_“Just relax for a bit”_ Yunho’s voice says inside his head, but it’s so hard, no matter what he does all he can think about is painting, getting out of his block, because he’s a _genius_ , he’s got people he needs to please, he’s got assessments he needs to finish.

 

“Mingi I’m here” a voice breaks the peace of the café.

 

Hongjoong’s never been a fan of messing with other people’s business, so usually when something like this happens keeps his eyes focused on whatever he was doing at the moment, but the voice is so honey-like and relaxing, soothing all tensions out of Hongjoong’s body and replacing them with a curiousness so atypical of him that he can’t help but direct his eyes to where the person is standing.

 

It’s a man, he’s standing in front of the counter while moving his head from side to side, probably trying to see through the window that gives to the back, he doesn’t need to get on his toes to do that, so Hongjoong can tell he’s tall. Even though he can only see the side of this mysterious man with a melodious voice the smaller can tell he’s beautiful, well defined factions and sharp jaw, but he tears his eyes away from him before actually being able to detail anything, too afraid to get caught staring at a complete stranger.

 

“Ah hyung” Hongjoong recognizes the voice of the barista, “I’m sorry I made you come all the way here to give this to me, but really thank you so much”

 

“No, no, it’s nothing” The other says, there’s something about his voice that is just so mesmerizing that Hongjoong wants drown in it, “I had to come to Wooyoung’s house anyway, so it’s not a big deal”

 

“Should I make you a coffee? It’s on the house” the barista asks, but he gets no verbal response so Hongjoong imagines his friend nods at him.

 

Hongjoong takes a breath, two, then lifts his eyes off the table to stare some more at the man. What he never expects, though, is for him to have his eyes fixed on Hongjoong already and if his side is beautiful, his full face can only be described as breathtaking, because it really feels like a hit to Hongjoong’s stomach.

 

His eyes are big and dark, innocent looking, shining like two pearls, his hair looks soft and clean, pushed down over his forehead like a fluffy dark cloud hovering over his head, his chin looks strong, defined and straight, his lips look plush, pink, and his cheeks bloom in a light crimson color as two delicate flowers when Hongjoong catches him staring.

 

The man’s eyes direct to the floor quickly, and he hurriedly makes his way into one of the tables at the front of the café, careful not to look at Hongjoong again, but the painter can’t find it in him to rip his eyes off the young boy, looking like an angel sitting there as the bright sunlight hits his skin, making it seem as if he was glowing.

 

Hongjoong thinks about it, thinks about standing up and walking to him, introducing himself and getting this man’s name, getting to touch him even if just in a handshake, enough to confirm if his skin is as velvety as it seems to be. He’s mesmerized, his voice made him drunk and his looks kept him hypnotized, making his brain freeze and malfunction, who was exactly this person? And how did he have such an incredible amount of power?

 

The barista comes back and places a drink in front of him, saying something Hongjoong can’t hear before making his way back to the counter. The drink looks suspiciously like an ice cappuccino, soft and just the type of drink he imagined this man would like.

 

He wants to stand up and go to him, he wants to hear his melodic voice and he wants to see the pearls that are his eyes directed at him, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to, it’s risky, and Hongjoong doesn’t usually get involved in risky situations.

 

It takes good 15 minutes before he decides to stand up and walk over to the man, both their drinks are almost completely finished and Hongjoong knows that if he lets this person walk away chances are they’ll never meet again.

 

He takes a breath before speaking, nervous yet excited.

 

“Hello” Hongjoong says, surprising the other whose eyes had been glued to his phone’s screen, “Would it be a problem if I sat here?”

 

The man looks around the café, probably checking around the other tables even though he already saw that Hongjoong was sat at the back, before looking back at the painter, hesitantly nodding.

 

“My name is Hongjoong” He says, reaching his hand out to offer a handshake, the other takes it and Hongjoong finally confirms how soft his skin is, he also details how beautiful the other’s hands are, well defined and with long, slender fingers. It seems like everything about him is just beautiful, and it amazes the smaller.

 

“Seonghwa” He says back, with his soft voice wrapping around Hongjoong’s eardrums and sending a small smile to his lips.

 

“It’s nice to meet you” he says, stopping the ‘ _your voice sure is like honey’_ that threatened to roll off his tongue without his permission.

 

Seonghwa nods, his lips pressed together and lifted in the most adorable smile Hongjoong has ever seen.

 

He feels stupid as they sit in silence for a moment, he didn’t think of what he’d say after introducing himself, all he could think of was about getting a closer look, _being_ close to him.

 

“Do you come here often?” Seonghwa asks then, the smaller wonders if he usually speaks in that soft low tone or if that’s just the voice he uses with strangers.

 

“Not really” Hongjoong shakes his head, “I usually make my own coffee at home, do you?”

 

“Me neither, I just came because my friend works here and he left his keys at my house” he says while pointing at the barista with his chin, Hongjoong doesn’t bother to look at back at him, “Are you like a coffee fan that makes his own coffee? So you’re like… exploring new coffees now?”

 

Hongjoong laughs, he can’t avoid it, Seonghwa is just so cute, speaking quietly and tugging the sleeves of his fluffy red jacket, covering his hands even more.

 

“No, not really, I just don’t go out much” He shakes his head again, unable to stop smiling, “But I’ve had… free time lately”

 

“Oh, so you’re a busy person” Seonghwa says, having a tiny sip of his drink. Hongjoong doesn’t miss the way his cheeks go round when he does.

 

“Yeah… no? Something like that” Hongjoong says, looking out at the three in front of the shop before looking back at Seonghwa, “I’m just blocked right now”

 

“Oh” Seonghwa enlarges cutely, “so you’re an artist?”

 

He is, he loves to think of himself as an artist, but usually when accepting it people start creating expectations he needs to work too hard to fulfill, he doesn’t want it to be like that.

 

“Not really” He lies, “I’m just a college student with unfinished assessments”

 

Seonghwa giggles lowly, nodding his head.

 

“Me too” he says, with something that looks like a cute pained smile, “I’m a literature major, I have tons of books to read and tons of essays to write about them”

 

“I’m an art major” Hongjoong confesses, “I have tons of drawings to make and tons of essays to write about someone else’s drawings”

 

“And you’re having a hard time with the essays?”

 

“The drawings” Hongjoong admits, “I’m not inspired enough lately”

 

“I see” Seonghwa nods, “I wish I could help but I really can’t draw anything, much less I know what could inspire you”

 

 _“Your voice inspires me_ ” is what Hongjoong doesn’t say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Hongjoong arrives home later that day he goes straight to his sketching book even though he promised he wouldn’t try to draw in a few days. He starts to draw Seonghwa’s hands, delicate and slim, but ends up drawing all of him except his facial features, just a faceless man holding a cup as his head rests over his hand.

 

It’s a good drawing, he’d be lying if he said it is not, and he’s amazed as to how a few minutes talking with someone who’s basically a stranger could inspire him so much. He looks at his phone over the table, remembering how Seonghwa had typed his number and feeling ecstatic, almost inpatient to meet him again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To say when their relationship had leveled up from a simple friendship was hard to tell, it was more like a series of event rather than a specific one, or even, it probably never was a simple friendship to begin with.

 

The truth is: Seonghwa keeps Hongjoong inspired, whenever they meet the younger feels like he could paint the world in a million new colors, it is an overwhelming feeling, almost as overwhelming as Seonghwa’s simple beauty, almost as overwhelming as Seonghwa’s smiles and shy giggles, _almost_ as overwhelming as the feeling of Seonghwa’s lips pressed against his own. It’s a marvelous feeling that Hongjoong thinks could keep him awake for days, pleasant and warm inside his chest just as exciting and energizing.

 

It is funny to think how the simplest thing Seonghwa does could inspire Hongjoong at such a level, a smile could push the smaller straight to his sketchbook, a kiss of his lips could make him create the most beautiful and colorful scenarios, the sound of his voice reading his own favorite poems could keep the younger awake all night, working nonstop in more than once piece.

 

His teachers notice, everyone notices how his attitude changes, how his works seem to have a different feeling to them.

 

“You seem to have found a muse” one of them tells him once, “you should be careful with muses boy, they usually change a lot, and they have too much power over you while they inspire you”

 

He wasn’t wrong, Hongjoong had known from the beginning would Seonghwa have just an incredible amount of power over him, but even when they fight he manages to inspire Hongjoong, his works becoming aggressive with the initial rage and gentler with the following sadness, only to paint bright colors of joy when it’s solved.

 

Hongjoong finally feels like he’s living his youth, a wild youth of nights out staring at the stars with Seonghwa, kissing and holding hands and having deep conversations about stuff others would find silly or way too deep to discuss at their age, there were few things Hongjoong enjoyed more than hearing his boyfriend’s voice while he talked passionately about his favorite books, his favorite poems, his favorite anything, holding his hand and looking at him while the other’s eyes focused on the sky over them.

 

He was inspired, always inspired, overwhelmingly inspired by Seonghwa and his own adoration for him.

 

It is also Seonghwa who inspires his best work, of course it is him, the painting made specifically to describe the feeling Hongjoong gets every time he looks at the older.

 

The painting is based in the space, Mars making its appearance as the center of it all, earth beside it –representing not only Hongjoong but anyone who ever got close of Seonghwa– being a small fraction of green and blue land, paling in from of the beauty mars represented, light and darkness mixing in the background, the stars being simple distant dots, merely spectators of the scene unfolding at the front of the painting, where mars irradiates a light itself that seemed mysterious and enticing.

 

It takes Hongjoong days to finish the painting, supporting himself in small snack and the sound of Seonghwa’s voice through his phone’s speakers, talking in his delicate honey-like voice and apologizing for not being able to be there with him –he was in a trip to his parent’s house at that time, and maybe it was the feeling of being apart from him what pushed Hongjoong to create the piece to begin with.

 

It is greatly praised by everyone, which to be honest Hongjoong didn’t expect, he had made that painting for Seonghwa, hoping it’d be able to transmit and make him see just how intense Hongjoong’s feelings for him were, just how much he _loved_ him. It’s kind of a bummer, even though it shouldn’t be, even though he’s supposed to feel proud of it, but he hates people seeing the piece, he hates them calling him a genius again and again over it, he hates it.

 

“Let’s go out” He says, grabbing Seonghwa’s hand and pulling him out of the art gallery where his class’ exhibition was taking place.

 

He only brought the painting because both Yunho and Seonghwa kept insisting it was good, and because his boyfriend kept saying how much he loved it, how proud he was, how he wanted to brag to the entire world that ‘ _such an amazing masterpiece’_ was inspired by him.

 

“Joong, is everything okay?” Seonghwa asks, tugging him down to seat at the entrance stairs, placing his arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders and pushing him close into a tight hug.

 

“I hate it when they call me a genius” Hongjoong says in a low voice, knowing he can trust Seonghwa more than he can trust anyone else, “I hate it so much, I hate that they’re looking at a painting I was so satisfied with and ruining it by putting all the pressure of the word genius over me. I’m not a genius, I’m just in love with you.”

 

The last part slips and he’s immediately frozen, they’ve never used that word, not in the seven months they’ve been dating, and letting it slip like that wasn’t the way Hongjoong wanted to tell Seonghwa how he felt. The older doesn’t react for a few moments, and then he pulls apart, Hongjoong’s hand shooting up to his shirt to keep him in place in case he wanted to go away, but instead Seonghwa cups his face with both hands, looking at him with big, shiny eyes.

 

“Can you repeat that for me?” he asks, leaning close with his eyes fixed in Hongjoong’s own, his breath fanning over the younger’s face like the most delicate spring breeze.

 

“I’m in love with you” Hongjoong whispers, looking at Seonghwa dead in the eyes to make sure the older knows he’s serious, since he can’t go back in time and erase his words then he needs the other to take him seriously.

 

Seonghwa kisses him, soft and sweet, he tastes like peach and wine, soft and delicate lips melting with Hongjoong’s own and vanishing his bad mood and worries.

 

“I’m in love with you too” Seonghwa says once he breaks the kiss, connecting their lips quickly once more before adding, “I thought you’d never say it”

 

They giggle along, huddling close even though they’re sitting on the stairs. Yes, it sucks to be called a genius, and it sucks that people’s expectations on him take away the fun in what he enjoys the most, and maybe his teacher was right and his muse has way too much power over him, but Hongjoong doesn’t care, he’s willing to give Seonghwa all the power he wants, in the end, it’s not like Seonghwa doesn’t own his whole heart anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/dumbwoojae)   
>  [Twitter](https://twitter.com/DumbWoojae)


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